The Destructive Power Of Jealousy

We all get jealous. When moderated, jealousy can actually aid the vitality and excitement of a relationship, indicating care, attention and yearning.
But when sentiments of jealousy cross a certain line, they turn a healthy relationship into an infected limb. When we start to check his/ her phone messages when they aren’t looking, or cut off friends because “I saw the way they looked at you”, the moderated jealousy turns destructive very quickly.Such obsessive jealousy usually masks unfulfilled needs in a relationship.These may include some of the following;
Low Self Esteem- When we feel our partner is worth more than we do, and that any second now someone better will come along and snag them away.
Control- Jealousy often manifests in an absolute need to control the life of our partner. The action stems from the emptiness and lack of fulfillment in the controlling partners life, and an attempt to take ownership and live vicariously through the action and fulfillment in another persons life. Any attempt on the part of the controlled partner to break free is immediately perceived as betrayal.
Boredom- Some individuals are simply addicted to the drama. They feel they need to experience massive highs and lows to validate their sense of excitement. To feel like they are “alive”
Guilt- Some individuals feel great levels of guilt for not providing enough in the relationship. This can be about money, sex, affection, time, or anything else. These feelings of guilt lead to a great sense of frustration and anger, which externalizes as jealousy.
 Obsessive jealousy is often a self fulfilling prophecy. The less secure a person is, the harder they will try to hang on, the more they will act on the negative aspects of jealous obsession, and the faster the relationship will fall apart.